Welcome to unpopular PARENT, the podcast where we help parents focus on what really matters and let go of the rest. Today, we’re tackling a topic that every parent eventually faces: helping your teens gain independence.
But we’re not just talking about it from the parent’s perspective. I’m joined by my daughters, Scout, a high school senior, and Finnley, a college sophomore, to share their journeys to independence—how they’ve grown, the challenges they’ve faced, and what independence looks like for them today.
We’ll discuss what independence meant to them growing up, how it’s changed now that they’re nearly adults, and what it means for our family as we navigate this transition. Whether you’re a parent preparing to let go or a teen finding your own way, we’ll cover what really matters when it comes to growing into independence. Let’s get started.
00:00 - introduction
01:48 - meet finnley
02:28 - getting sick at college
03:36 - learning to be independent as a young kid - task vs. character
05:39 - early signs of confidence + remove lunch complaints
06:08 - helicopter parents beware
08:07 - teaching independence doesn’t stop when they leave for college
09:01 - pivotal independence for scout | becoming a driverÂ
11:07 - pivotal independence for finnley | ditching a childhood dream
12:43 - independence = ownership = success
14:24 - fostering independence requires parental flexibility and courage
19:43 - figure out what you love and go do it
20:39 - holding on too tight
22:23 - out in front vs right behind
23:42 - independence from a 17-year-old’s perspective (senior in high school)
26:20 - independence from a 19-year-old’s perspective (sophomore in college)
27:14 - how we navigate parental involvement and college goings-onÂ
28:12 - reaping the rewards of starting the independence thing early
29:33 - how can parents practically foster independence
32:21 - nothing without honesty and trust Â
36:13 - learning to not over-function with my college kid
40:59 - learning from an older sibling
43:30 - advice to parents who are struggling to let goÂ
46:20 - learning to be independent means learning about yourself
48.16 - biggest challenge for mom
51:04 - real-time tangent | lightbulb sister moment
54:32 - next week’s topic
Feeling stuck or uncertain?
Parenting can be overwhelming, especially when it feels like you’re carrying it all alone. If the ideas you’ve been reading here resonate but you’re not sure how to apply them, a mini-session is a great next step. It’s a chance to talk through what’s on your mind and gain clarity on how to move forward.
