This is beautiful, Erin. We lost our dog this week and my children (ages 2 and 5) have given my husband and I so much grace in all the ways we are showing our grief. Their souls are so beautifully open to loving, caring, and showing up for the people in their spheres - your piece is a great reminder to name this and celebrate it.
This is tremendous! I love the mutuality of all members of a family helping each other grow. It is so important we recognize each other and praise each other for their efforts, no matter what age. "...because they know mistakes don’t cost you love." YES! Thank you for this writing!
Thank you so much, Mike—your words really affirm the heart of this piece. That vision of mutual growth within a family feels both grounding and hopeful to me, too. Grateful we’re thinking about these things together. 🧡
Really loved this and honestly have never read this idea anywhere else. We’re told as parents to repair after a less-than-stellar parenting moment, but I love the idea of really noticing and naming the grace our kids offer.
That means so much—thank you, Kayla. I think you're right: this moves from repair to connection, and from connection toward something deeper. Ultimately, gratitude.
Thank you for naming this so clearly. I see grace exercised every day by my children. Children are innately open to their parents, willing to give them second chances; it’s up to embrace their grace, and reciprocate. You said it well when you mentioned parenting from a pedestal -- we fall from grace when we put kids on a pedestal, and when we put ourselves on one.
Right? That image of falling from grace when we pedestal anyone—ourselves included—is such a powerful one. Thank you for reading so thoughtfully, Sabrina. It means a lot to be in conversation with people who are paying attention to this.
Thank you for writing, Erin! I agree these conversations are tremendously grounding and mutually supportive. We only need to look at ourselves as adult children -- and notice how we *still* to long for our parents' love and give them second chances -- to understand how simultaneously vulnerable, strong, and generous our children are. The power differential between parent and child makes their grace all the more humbling -- they truly see us, with all our flaws (because nothing exposes flaws like being a parent), and they love us anyway.
The perfect post for me to read after a tough night with my oldest who is 7. Thank you for this powerful reminder to take stalk of the little things and continue to notice and name rather than fixate on the nag.
Thank you for this, Carrie. I know that kind of night, and I really appreciate you putting words to it. Your reflection is such a kind reminder to me, too—to slow down and keep noticing what matters most. We're all in this together, doing our best and learning as we go.
This turns the parenting normal on its head in the most humbling way. We’re so focused on how well our kids take correction, we forget to notice how often they show us kindness. And when we insist on being the teacher, we miss the invitation to grow alongside them. You're so right, naming grace it is just the beginning. We need to enable ourselves to return it.
Thank you, Aleksandra—this captures the heart of it so beautifully. It's a powerful shift to realize growth doesn't have to flow in just one direction. Our kids are inviting us into something more mutual and when we meet them there, the whole relationship changes. I'm really grateful this spoke to you.
Thank you so much for sharing this—“it hurts and is wonderful at the same time” captures so much of what this season feels like. There’s such tenderness in what you described, and the way you’re naming her grace out loud is incredibly powerful. Wishing you both softness and strength as you step into this next chapter.
YESSS, Erin!!! ❤️
Beautiful piece, thank you for it.
I really appreciate that, Bethany—thank you! 🧡
i'm soooo grateful I stumbled upon your substack tonight. needed it 🥹🙌🏻
That means so much—thank you for saying so. I’m really glad you found your way here, and I hope it keeps offering what you need, when you need it. 🧡
Beautiful. This may be the most important piece you have written. Worth reading and re-reading until the message really and truly sinks in.
What a generous comment—thank you so much for saying that, Regina! 🧡
This is beautiful, Erin. We lost our dog this week and my children (ages 2 and 5) have given my husband and I so much grace in all the ways we are showing our grief. Their souls are so beautifully open to loving, caring, and showing up for the people in their spheres - your piece is a great reminder to name this and celebrate it.
This is tremendous! I love the mutuality of all members of a family helping each other grow. It is so important we recognize each other and praise each other for their efforts, no matter what age. "...because they know mistakes don’t cost you love." YES! Thank you for this writing!
Thank you so much, Mike—your words really affirm the heart of this piece. That vision of mutual growth within a family feels both grounding and hopeful to me, too. Grateful we’re thinking about these things together. 🧡
I really loved this and healed something in me. Thank you ❤️
There’s truly no greater compliment—or motivation—than this. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. 🧡
A truly beautiful article 🩵
Thank you, my friend. 🧡
This is a great perspective, thank you.
Thanks for the feedback, Matt—I'm grateful.
Really loved this and honestly have never read this idea anywhere else. We’re told as parents to repair after a less-than-stellar parenting moment, but I love the idea of really noticing and naming the grace our kids offer.
That means so much—thank you, Kayla. I think you're right: this moves from repair to connection, and from connection toward something deeper. Ultimately, gratitude.
Loved this
Thank you, Lizzie!
Thank you for articulating this shift/reframe of our everyday interactions with our kids - you’ve inspired me to do this more often
Thank you so much for this, Amanda. It means a lot to know the words sparked something for you. I'm grateful we're in this together.
Thank you for naming this so clearly. I see grace exercised every day by my children. Children are innately open to their parents, willing to give them second chances; it’s up to embrace their grace, and reciprocate. You said it well when you mentioned parenting from a pedestal -- we fall from grace when we put kids on a pedestal, and when we put ourselves on one.
Right? That image of falling from grace when we pedestal anyone—ourselves included—is such a powerful one. Thank you for reading so thoughtfully, Sabrina. It means a lot to be in conversation with people who are paying attention to this.
Thank you for writing, Erin! I agree these conversations are tremendously grounding and mutually supportive. We only need to look at ourselves as adult children -- and notice how we *still* to long for our parents' love and give them second chances -- to understand how simultaneously vulnerable, strong, and generous our children are. The power differential between parent and child makes their grace all the more humbling -- they truly see us, with all our flaws (because nothing exposes flaws like being a parent), and they love us anyway.
The perfect post for me to read after a tough night with my oldest who is 7. Thank you for this powerful reminder to take stalk of the little things and continue to notice and name rather than fixate on the nag.
Thank you for this, Carrie. I know that kind of night, and I really appreciate you putting words to it. Your reflection is such a kind reminder to me, too—to slow down and keep noticing what matters most. We're all in this together, doing our best and learning as we go.
This turns the parenting normal on its head in the most humbling way. We’re so focused on how well our kids take correction, we forget to notice how often they show us kindness. And when we insist on being the teacher, we miss the invitation to grow alongside them. You're so right, naming grace it is just the beginning. We need to enable ourselves to return it.
Thank you, Aleksandra—this captures the heart of it so beautifully. It's a powerful shift to realize growth doesn't have to flow in just one direction. Our kids are inviting us into something more mutual and when we meet them there, the whole relationship changes. I'm really grateful this spoke to you.
Thank you so much for sharing this—“it hurts and is wonderful at the same time” captures so much of what this season feels like. There’s such tenderness in what you described, and the way you’re naming her grace out loud is incredibly powerful. Wishing you both softness and strength as you step into this next chapter.