18 Comments
User's avatar
Lori K Walters's avatar

This has prompted some deep self-reflection. Thankyou.

Erin Miller's avatar

I really appreciate that, Lori—thank you!

Visnja Spasojevic's avatar

This arrived in an understated yet significant manner.

"Kids aren't focused on statements; they're observing timing." That particular line stood out to me.

In the anxious-parent realm, I've noticed something similar; it’s not that love is delayed due to indifference, but rather because our nervous system prioritizes regulation, fixation, or control first. We work on calming the situation before turning our attention to the child.

What’s remarkable is that even when love shows up late during a challenging time, the act of returning and mending demonstrates that closeness endures. Timing is crucial, yet the cycle of rupture and repair is equally important.

As you mentioned, the order of events shapes experiences.

Erin Miller's avatar

This is a beautifully articulated expansion, and I really appreciate the addition of the importance of repair. Thanks so much for taking the time to share.

Visnja Spasojevic's avatar

I'm truly pleased that the repair piece struck a chord with you. Your perspective on timing highlighted something significant: the way sequence influences perception. It's a subtle difference, yet it changes everything.

KATHY OXFORD's avatar

Proud if you Erin. You’re a truly gifted writer and a wonderful mom!💖

Erin Miller's avatar

Thank you, my beautiful friend. 🧡

Kyle Shepard's avatar

Essential internal work that I’m still working on to this day. Your posts really feel like they’re specifically made for me sometimes… (and I’m thankful for it). Powerful stuff as always sis

Erin Miller's avatar

Thank you, my friend.

Kai Makowski's avatar

Likewise Kyle.

Erin Miller's avatar

Thanks, Kai.

Gail's avatar

♥️♥️♥️

Kai Makowski's avatar

So good Erin!… nothing short of profound and next-level fundamental. You truly get into the nuts and bolts of the unconditional love that all of us parents aspire towards but that we often come short upon despite our best intentions. I learned so much in reading this… sincere thanks on behalf of our whole family xo

Erin Miller's avatar

What a generous thing to say! Thank you so much for your encouragement and kindness. 🧡

Kai Makowski's avatar

Thank you for yours.

Saima Durrani's avatar

Yes Erin, being there when they’re messy, uncertain, or frustrated is where love actually teaches them its strength. It’s hard to do, but those are the moments that give them something solid to hold onto.

Megan Saxelby's avatar

Well said! 💕

Erin Miller's avatar

Thanks, Megan! 💕