Spot on and yet so hard to live!!! Seems especially hard when it feels like very few other parents have these values and perspectives. Thanks for articulating this so well.
I hear you—it’s definitely not easy, especially when it feels like we’re going against the grain. But it’s so worth it, right? I’m glad this resonated with you, and I really appreciate you taking the time to read and share your thoughts. We’re in this together!
ALL OF THIS. So well put, Erin, and so necessary—especially, as you note, in a society that rewards and monetizes anxiety. Thank you for putting words to something I've felt for a long time.
Thank you so much, Irena—that means a lot. It’s crazy how much we’re swimming in that anxiety, isn’t it? It’s so important to acknowledge it and find a better path forward.
Thank you so much, Kyle. I’m really glad it struck a chord with you—it’s a sign I’m on the right track. I always appreciate you taking the time to read and share your thoughts.
Yes yes yes! As hard - and even counterintuitive - as this parenting can be in what seems to be a regressively restrictive IRL world (all the while the online world still is still the Wild West).
Offering unconditional love -- and ultimately letting our kids know that we have faith in them and that we all make mistakes -- resonates deeply as the best way forward. Thank you for these wise words. Bookmarking for future reads.
Thank you—this means a lot. That tension you named between the IRL restrictiveness and the online chaos is so real. It is counterintuitive sometimes, but yes… faith, love, and room to get it wrong—that’s the way through.
I've confronted every one of your points, and did so in short succession, after our daughter Sarah was born. I had to. She was facing a critical, life-saving surgery at the age of six months, in which her skull would be surgically sliced in half. Talk about a mother's fear!
Since then, I don't fret so much over skinned knees or small bruises. We generally take care of those bumps and scrapes at home. With an extra dose of love.
I also think about the "what if they don't grow up to be someone I understand" because, well, none of my kids make a whole lot of sense to me most days. But it all boils down to this: no matter what they choose to do with their lives or who they become, I want them to know they are loved. That they are always going to be loved. That's what matters most to me.
Thanks for sharing this, Jeannie. That’s real, hard-earned perspective. I can’t imagine the kind of strength it took to face that kind of fear so early on. And I love what you said about your kids not always making sense to you. But yes, knowing they’re loved without conditions… that’s everything. And you’re right—real love doesn’t erase fear, but it sure knows what to do with it.
Spot on and yet so hard to live!!! Seems especially hard when it feels like very few other parents have these values and perspectives. Thanks for articulating this so well.
I hear you—it’s definitely not easy, especially when it feels like we’re going against the grain. But it’s so worth it, right? I’m glad this resonated with you, and I really appreciate you taking the time to read and share your thoughts. We’re in this together!
ALL OF THIS. So well put, Erin, and so necessary—especially, as you note, in a society that rewards and monetizes anxiety. Thank you for putting words to something I've felt for a long time.
Thank you so much, Irena—that means a lot. It’s crazy how much we’re swimming in that anxiety, isn’t it? It’s so important to acknowledge it and find a better path forward.
Man Erin… one of my favorite posts of yours yet. Each section a powerful post in and of itself. Great stuff
Thank you so much, Kyle. I’m really glad it struck a chord with you—it’s a sign I’m on the right track. I always appreciate you taking the time to read and share your thoughts.
You’re at the top of my list of posts I make sure to read! Keep up the great work
The urge to rescue can feel like love.
But what our kids need isn’t rescue.
It’s room to try, to stumble, and to see that they can survive....
YES!
Thanks, Carll.
Yes yes yes! As hard - and even counterintuitive - as this parenting can be in what seems to be a regressively restrictive IRL world (all the while the online world still is still the Wild West).
Offering unconditional love -- and ultimately letting our kids know that we have faith in them and that we all make mistakes -- resonates deeply as the best way forward. Thank you for these wise words. Bookmarking for future reads.
Thank you—this means a lot. That tension you named between the IRL restrictiveness and the online chaos is so real. It is counterintuitive sometimes, but yes… faith, love, and room to get it wrong—that’s the way through.
What a great essay, Erin!
I've confronted every one of your points, and did so in short succession, after our daughter Sarah was born. I had to. She was facing a critical, life-saving surgery at the age of six months, in which her skull would be surgically sliced in half. Talk about a mother's fear!
Since then, I don't fret so much over skinned knees or small bruises. We generally take care of those bumps and scrapes at home. With an extra dose of love.
I also think about the "what if they don't grow up to be someone I understand" because, well, none of my kids make a whole lot of sense to me most days. But it all boils down to this: no matter what they choose to do with their lives or who they become, I want them to know they are loved. That they are always going to be loved. That's what matters most to me.
And, besides, doesn't love cast out fear, anyway?
Thanks for sharing this, Jeannie. That’s real, hard-earned perspective. I can’t imagine the kind of strength it took to face that kind of fear so early on. And I love what you said about your kids not always making sense to you. But yes, knowing they’re loved without conditions… that’s everything. And you’re right—real love doesn’t erase fear, but it sure knows what to do with it.
To me, love doesn’t eliminate fear but helps me confront it in a curious and brave way. I’m not sure if that makes sense, but it’s been my experience.
Such good, reflective guidance in this essay. Well done.
Thank you—I really appreciate that, Nancy.
Excellent essay, Erin. You’re really speaking my parenting language here.
Thanks, Jesse. It's good to be in such solid company.
Extremely well thought and well versed.
Thank you—that means a lot.
Very wise. 🙏
Thank you. 🧡