Phenomenal as always, Momma. Getting to know you as a person and a friend - beyond solely as my mom - has been one of the biggest joys of growing up. Because I know you for *you*, I am even prouder to be your daughter. I love you!
I’m due with my first in a few weeks, and this was such a thought-provoking and encouraging read for me! I don’t know if it’s just my algorithm or what — but I feel as thought most of the motherhood content I’ve come across lately has been written from the depths of what you’re talking about — losing oneself entirely, feeling like an empty shell — and it’s honestly been a bit discouraging and anxiety-inducing as someone about to step into the role. This was great! Thank you for giving me a new perspective to think about.
Congratulations, Anika—such an exciting and transformational time! There’s so much messaging that makes it feel like losing yourself is inevitable, but it doesn’t have to be. You’ll stretch and shift, yes—but you don’t have to disappear. Wishing you clarity, confidence, and moments that feel deeply like you in this new season. 🧡
Okay, "spiritual growth in the frozen food aisle" made me laugh out loud. It's so true! It's easy to get stuck in the rut of to-do lists and errands, and forget that there's a whole world of thoughts and ideas out there. I sometimes feel like my brain has turned into a giant spreadsheet. I used to get excited about new books and art exhibits, and now I get excited about finding a good sale on diapers. It's a funny, slightly sad, but very real shift. We need to give ourselves permission to step out of the spreadsheet and into the world of ideas again.
Also, I should clarify the diapers comment 😂 a few friends and I share different roles, especially as I’m moving through my divorce I’ve leaned on them and I’ve also taken on a few roles. I’ve also wanted to learn how to care for children better since I want kids (that was the reason for my divorce!).
I am an A+ shopper, so I do all of the grocery shopping for the group. Together we all save a couple hundred per month!
This is so funny because I had a passing 'I didn't know he had kids' thought. 😂 But truly, I’m not even a little surprised you’d lean into learning more about kids if that’s where your heart is being pulled. I already said it below, but it’s worth repeating—I’m absolutely cheering you on over here.
Right now I’m truly having a moment of clarity for myself. It’s been very empowering and it’s been interesting to see that clarity translate for me into my writing and then into my audience.
I love this more than I can say. What a fantastic reminder that parenting is only one of the many, many facets of who we are, and to ignore those facets is to impoverish our own existence—and our kids'. Thank you, as ever, for your beautiful writing, Erin.
Beautiful message that can expand beyond parenting to anyone who ties their identity to a job, task, belief, other singular externals. Great piece Erin
Oh my goodness Erin. I have been thinking about this so much lately. There must be something in the air. I love this piece so much and agree completely. I felt like I lost myself for a few years when they were really little, my boys, and now I’m finding my true self again and feel like I’m waking back up.
I love how you framed it! It really does feel like waking back up, doesn’t it? Like you’re remembering a version of yourself you didn’t even realize had gone quiet. I’m grateful for this imagery.
What you wrote today reminds me of something I tell myself often: there is a difference between living and being fully alive.
Living can mean existing, going through the motions, just "getting through the day."
Being fully alive means opening ourselves up to all the possibilities and invitations of each moment, of allowing ourselves to be surprised, delighted, scared, connected, of feeling our emotions without trying to deny them or minimize them.
It is an awakening of the soul, I believe, when we are fully alive, because we are embracing the full spectrum of what it means to be human.
Phenomenal as always, Momma. Getting to know you as a person and a friend - beyond solely as my mom - has been one of the biggest joys of growing up. Because I know you for *you*, I am even prouder to be your daughter. I love you!
Aww, thank you so much, honey. That is so sweet. I'm beyond lucky and so incredibly proud of who you are. I love you—to the moon!
I’m due with my first in a few weeks, and this was such a thought-provoking and encouraging read for me! I don’t know if it’s just my algorithm or what — but I feel as thought most of the motherhood content I’ve come across lately has been written from the depths of what you’re talking about — losing oneself entirely, feeling like an empty shell — and it’s honestly been a bit discouraging and anxiety-inducing as someone about to step into the role. This was great! Thank you for giving me a new perspective to think about.
Congratulations, Anika—such an exciting and transformational time! There’s so much messaging that makes it feel like losing yourself is inevitable, but it doesn’t have to be. You’ll stretch and shift, yes—but you don’t have to disappear. Wishing you clarity, confidence, and moments that feel deeply like you in this new season. 🧡
Okay, "spiritual growth in the frozen food aisle" made me laugh out loud. It's so true! It's easy to get stuck in the rut of to-do lists and errands, and forget that there's a whole world of thoughts and ideas out there. I sometimes feel like my brain has turned into a giant spreadsheet. I used to get excited about new books and art exhibits, and now I get excited about finding a good sale on diapers. It's a funny, slightly sad, but very real shift. We need to give ourselves permission to step out of the spreadsheet and into the world of ideas again.
You’re doing such a brilliant job of sharing this idea—and your intentionality in how you move through the world—with your audience right now. 🧡
If you’re reading this and you’re not already subscribed to Alex, go fix that. Run, don’t walk. You won’t be disappointed.
Also, I should clarify the diapers comment 😂 a few friends and I share different roles, especially as I’m moving through my divorce I’ve leaned on them and I’ve also taken on a few roles. I’ve also wanted to learn how to care for children better since I want kids (that was the reason for my divorce!).
I am an A+ shopper, so I do all of the grocery shopping for the group. Together we all save a couple hundred per month!
This is so funny because I had a passing 'I didn't know he had kids' thought. 😂 But truly, I’m not even a little surprised you’d lean into learning more about kids if that’s where your heart is being pulled. I already said it below, but it’s worth repeating—I’m absolutely cheering you on over here.
That is very kind of you, Erin.
Right now I’m truly having a moment of clarity for myself. It’s been very empowering and it’s been interesting to see that clarity translate for me into my writing and then into my audience.
It’s been humbling. Exciting. SCARY! Haha.
I’m cheering you on!
I love this more than I can say. What a fantastic reminder that parenting is only one of the many, many facets of who we are, and to ignore those facets is to impoverish our own existence—and our kids'. Thank you, as ever, for your beautiful writing, Erin.
Receiving a compliment like this from someone whose writing I respect (and adore) means so much—thank you, Irena!
"If all they remember is that we showed up—but not who showed up—what are we really leaving behind?" Right on.
Thanks, Carll.
Beautiful message that can expand beyond parenting to anyone who ties their identity to a job, task, belief, other singular externals. Great piece Erin
Great point, Kyle! We’re all at risk of disappearing into roles if we’re not paying attention. Appreciate you reading and sharing.
Healthy modeling of "me" behavior helps kids see how they should show up in their own relationships. Nicely done!
Very well said—thank you!
Oh my goodness Erin. I have been thinking about this so much lately. There must be something in the air. I love this piece so much and agree completely. I felt like I lost myself for a few years when they were really little, my boys, and now I’m finding my true self again and feel like I’m waking back up.
I love how you framed it! It really does feel like waking back up, doesn’t it? Like you’re remembering a version of yourself you didn’t even realize had gone quiet. I’m grateful for this imagery.
Erin,
What you wrote today reminds me of something I tell myself often: there is a difference between living and being fully alive.
Living can mean existing, going through the motions, just "getting through the day."
Being fully alive means opening ourselves up to all the possibilities and invitations of each moment, of allowing ourselves to be surprised, delighted, scared, connected, of feeling our emotions without trying to deny them or minimize them.
It is an awakening of the soul, I believe, when we are fully alive, because we are embracing the full spectrum of what it means to be human.
Well said, Jeannie. 🧡
Thanks, Erin! You always make me think.