Great name. Funny, I just got someone suggesting I change the name of my stack saying it was ‘off-putting’ but it’s growing faster than ever so clearly other people aren’t put off! And like you, I am totally in tune with the name I’ve chosen - it is strongly linked to my identity and purpose. Keep being the Unpopular Parent, it’s great. From one not-fitter-inner to another 💜
Yes to all of this. Trusting our gut—especially when it comes to something that reflects who we are and what we stand for—is everything. And clearly, the right people are finding us. From one not-fitter-inner to another—glad to be in this space with you, Ros. 🧡
I feel like this is advice that we all need for every season, not just in parenting (but of course especially in parenting!)
I felt in my soul what you said about feeling lonely in your choices as a mom and always in search of where you belong. In this day where everything seems to be so polarizing and extreme it’s refreshing to hear a perspective that is grounded in truth and values and not statistics or virtue signaling or emotions.
Thank you for your encouraging words, Gerri—I'm so grateful. And, great point! These lessons go far beyond parenting. It’s about how we move through the world, how we stand firm in what we believe, and how we navigate spaces that don’t always feel like home. I hear you on the loneliness. It’s one of the hardest parts, but also what makes it so worth it. Staying grounded in truth and values instead of chasing approval or fitting into extremes—that’s the real work.
First of all, there is a book in your future. Second of all, I hope it’s titled “THE UNPOPULAR PARENT: A Family Philosophy That Raises Judgy Eyebrows but Joyful Kids.”
That might be the highest compliment, Kelly. And that title? Absolute perfection. If this book ever happens, you’re getting full credit for the name. Thanks for always cheering me on—I appreciate it more than you know.
The reason I love your 'stack so much is precisely BECAUSE you have named it "unpopular" parenting! I have always been in the camp with misfits, outliers, and anomalies. Now I am raising kids who don't fit with conventional, societal norms.
We are all unpopular in this family.
The word "popular" itself makes me cringe, to be honest. It's because I've never striven to be popular. I want to be who I am, and I've learned that makes me quite unpopular, because I don't follow trends. I don't follow crowds. I have my own compass, forge my own path.
That's not to say that I don't heed wisdom or take time to discern. It simply means, as my brother once told me, "You are the one person out of a hundred who does the right thing even when no one else does."
Okay then.
And about emotions as signals and reality as the roadmap? Well, I am on your wavelength with that, as well! I have written extensively about the purpose and value of emotions, including the "dark" (not bad or negative, as we tend to label them) ones. They point to something within us that needs attention. They're telling us if we're in pain, if we're lonely, why we're angry or hurt or confused. Emotions are meant to draw us deeper inward, where we can explore who we are, where we came from, and where we're headed. Not necessarily with answers as the goal, but with the process of maturing ever-unfolding.
So...
I will stand with you as the "unpopular parent," Erin.
Thank you so much, Jeannie. There’s something powerful about raising kids who don’t conform for the sake of it, who trust their own compass instead of chasing approval. It’s not always easy, but I’d choose it every time.
And your perspective on emotions? Completely in sync. They aren’t problems to solve or things to suppress—they’re signals, invitations to pay attention. The ‘dark’ ones especially. If we listen, they tell us exactly what we need to know.
So grateful to have you here, standing in the 'unpopular parent' camp with me. It’s such good company to keep.
Your perspective on quitting is so refreshing! We're often taught that quitting is a sign of weakness, but as you so eloquently pointed out, sometimes it's the strongest and smartest thing we can do. I've stayed in unhealthy situations far too long because I was afraid of quitting, and I wish I had learned this lesson sooner. This is such a great essay for a variety of reasons. Thank you for sharing!
Thanks so much for this, Alex! I think so many of us were raised to believe quitting meant failure, when really, staying in the wrong situations is often the bigger loss. It takes just as much strength—if not more—to recognize when something no longer serves us and to walk away without guilt. And you’re right—it’s a lesson most of us wish we had learned sooner. I’m so glad this resonated with you.
Yep! This is a lesson that now is almost second nature - I’m done and I’m done quick - no harm no foul. But dang, I wish I hadn’t wasted so much time earlier on in my life. Haha!
That means a lot—thank you. The name has always felt right, and messages like this remind me why. I’ll take standing out over blending in any day. Grateful to you, TK!
One life - standing out is the way. If safety worked consistently every book that had an advance would beat the advance and it rarely happens. Big publishers can’t figure out who to pick. Neither can big movie studios.
Such a great piece. And I agree, there IS a book here!
That is so kind—thank you!
A powerful reminder that walking away is a form of self-advocacy, not weakness. Thanks.
Thanks, Cindy!
Great name. Funny, I just got someone suggesting I change the name of my stack saying it was ‘off-putting’ but it’s growing faster than ever so clearly other people aren’t put off! And like you, I am totally in tune with the name I’ve chosen - it is strongly linked to my identity and purpose. Keep being the Unpopular Parent, it’s great. From one not-fitter-inner to another 💜
Yes to all of this. Trusting our gut—especially when it comes to something that reflects who we are and what we stand for—is everything. And clearly, the right people are finding us. From one not-fitter-inner to another—glad to be in this space with you, Ros. 🧡
I feel like this is advice that we all need for every season, not just in parenting (but of course especially in parenting!)
I felt in my soul what you said about feeling lonely in your choices as a mom and always in search of where you belong. In this day where everything seems to be so polarizing and extreme it’s refreshing to hear a perspective that is grounded in truth and values and not statistics or virtue signaling or emotions.
Thank you for your encouraging words, Gerri—I'm so grateful. And, great point! These lessons go far beyond parenting. It’s about how we move through the world, how we stand firm in what we believe, and how we navigate spaces that don’t always feel like home. I hear you on the loneliness. It’s one of the hardest parts, but also what makes it so worth it. Staying grounded in truth and values instead of chasing approval or fitting into extremes—that’s the real work.
First of all, there is a book in your future. Second of all, I hope it’s titled “THE UNPOPULAR PARENT: A Family Philosophy That Raises Judgy Eyebrows but Joyful Kids.”
That might be the highest compliment, Kelly. And that title? Absolute perfection. If this book ever happens, you’re getting full credit for the name. Thanks for always cheering me on—I appreciate it more than you know.
Just be sure to send me an ARC so I can endorse it!
YES! You and I can endorse it, Kelly.
Yes indeed!
Erin,
The reason I love your 'stack so much is precisely BECAUSE you have named it "unpopular" parenting! I have always been in the camp with misfits, outliers, and anomalies. Now I am raising kids who don't fit with conventional, societal norms.
We are all unpopular in this family.
The word "popular" itself makes me cringe, to be honest. It's because I've never striven to be popular. I want to be who I am, and I've learned that makes me quite unpopular, because I don't follow trends. I don't follow crowds. I have my own compass, forge my own path.
That's not to say that I don't heed wisdom or take time to discern. It simply means, as my brother once told me, "You are the one person out of a hundred who does the right thing even when no one else does."
Okay then.
And about emotions as signals and reality as the roadmap? Well, I am on your wavelength with that, as well! I have written extensively about the purpose and value of emotions, including the "dark" (not bad or negative, as we tend to label them) ones. They point to something within us that needs attention. They're telling us if we're in pain, if we're lonely, why we're angry or hurt or confused. Emotions are meant to draw us deeper inward, where we can explore who we are, where we came from, and where we're headed. Not necessarily with answers as the goal, but with the process of maturing ever-unfolding.
So...
I will stand with you as the "unpopular parent," Erin.
Thank you so much, Jeannie. There’s something powerful about raising kids who don’t conform for the sake of it, who trust their own compass instead of chasing approval. It’s not always easy, but I’d choose it every time.
And your perspective on emotions? Completely in sync. They aren’t problems to solve or things to suppress—they’re signals, invitations to pay attention. The ‘dark’ ones especially. If we listen, they tell us exactly what we need to know.
So grateful to have you here, standing in the 'unpopular parent' camp with me. It’s such good company to keep.
You bet! You have a full supporter in me, Erin.
Your perspective on quitting is so refreshing! We're often taught that quitting is a sign of weakness, but as you so eloquently pointed out, sometimes it's the strongest and smartest thing we can do. I've stayed in unhealthy situations far too long because I was afraid of quitting, and I wish I had learned this lesson sooner. This is such a great essay for a variety of reasons. Thank you for sharing!
Thanks so much for this, Alex! I think so many of us were raised to believe quitting meant failure, when really, staying in the wrong situations is often the bigger loss. It takes just as much strength—if not more—to recognize when something no longer serves us and to walk away without guilt. And you’re right—it’s a lesson most of us wish we had learned sooner. I’m so glad this resonated with you.
Yep! This is a lesson that now is almost second nature - I’m done and I’m done quick - no harm no foul. But dang, I wish I hadn’t wasted so much time earlier on in my life. Haha!
I'm right there with you. 🧡
Loved this. Keep the name. That’s what makes you stand out among all the people who are regurgitating the same stuff from airport bookstores
That means a lot—thank you. The name has always felt right, and messages like this remind me why. I’ll take standing out over blending in any day. Grateful to you, TK!
One life - standing out is the way. If safety worked consistently every book that had an advance would beat the advance and it rarely happens. Big publishers can’t figure out who to pick. Neither can big movie studios.