14 Comments
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Karen Patten's avatar

I love that your girls were willing to share this conversation. ♥️♥️ Our house is much the same. We are a family and each of us is expected to do whatever needs to be done when it needs to be done. I have boys - almost 17 and 14. We all agree that we get the benefits being in this family - WiFi, vacations, our needs and basic wants met and on the flip side, and we also know that we all have the responsibility to be kind and contribute whenever it’s needed. I’m so proud of this - even when playing video games or if they are otherwise involved with friends - they know of if I need help or ask for something, they take responsibility and help out. They are grateful for all that they have and they pay it back cheerfully each and every time!!! Keep swimming upstream - it’s definitely not easy to parent against the grain!

Erin Miller's avatar

I love hearing this—what a strong, connected family culture you’ve built. That mix of gratitude, responsibility, and mutual respect really shines through. And yes, here’s to swimming upstream… totally worth it. 🧡

Kyle Shepard's avatar

Wow… just beautiful. Thank you for sharing!

Erin Miller's avatar

Thanks so much, Kyle! I'm grateful.

Jesse C. McEntee's avatar

Erin- This is an inspiration. Heartfelt and honest conversations between parents and children are rare, but even rarer is the willingness to share and be open about the challenges and growth. It really struck a chord with me as I navigate some similar waters with my own kids. It's difficult to let them have a voice and their own experience; as parents, we assume we know best, they're naive, etc. But they have an equal voice. Thank you.

Erin Miller's avatar

This means a lot, Jesse, thank you. It’s an honor to share this space with thoughtful parents like you, who are navigating the same brave, messy, meaningful work.

Mansi's avatar

Such a beautiful conversation. I felt so validated in swimming against the current, parenting the way I have (which is to say, learning how to parent the kid I have especially as said kid's needs change every six months), and realizing that there are myriad ways to be there for them. We have pretty much the same guiding philosophy in our house: how can we help each other? And the same foundational principle: no lies, no half truths, no hiding things. Trust is a two-way street and your interview with your daughters has such profound wisdom. Thank you, Scout and Finnley for sharing your experiences and big kudos to you, Erin, for holding space for this conversation.

Erin Miller's avatar

Thank you so much for this generous note, Mansi. It means a lot to hear from another parent swimming against the current with such intention and clarity. Your words are a valuable reminder that we’re not alone.

Cindy Ojczyk's avatar

Kudos to Scout and Finnley for sharing their thoughts and impressions. It's helpful to hear what young adults think and feel.

Erin Miller's avatar

Thank you so much, Cindy! We so often talk around kids and about kids rather than to them. I’ve found there’s real value in going straight to the source. 😉

Jennifer Shonkoff M.A. CCC-SLP's avatar

Loved this so much Erin!

Erin Miller's avatar

Aw, thank you! 🧡

Jeannie Ewing's avatar

Erin, you just gave me a fabulous idea to write a post, interview-style, with my 14yo daughter regarding the changes she's going through moving from eighth grade to high school. Brilliant! Thank you.

Erin Miller's avatar

Great idea, Jeannie! That’s such a pivotal transition, and it’s so valuable for other parents to hear from someone in that stage—both to feel seen and to give those with younger kids a glimpse of what’s ahead. I really hope you go for it!