This is such a good take, especially with the pressure so many parents feel that they have to sign their kids up for all this stuff and pay all the $. Having a job is so crucial to a sense of purpose and mattering!
"In traditional societies, this milestone was often marked by physical labor, apprenticeships, or service to the community, helping kids claim their place in the adult world."
That's just it, it is about continuity and tradition, but also about parents taking an important step together with their kids rather than outsourcing it to an instititution.
(Loving the stories in the comments here, just pure gold. And some quality manure, haha!)
Yes—we play such a critical role in actively guiding our kids through these important steps. And, while we're guiding and supporting, there's immense value in the lessons they learn from others, whether it’s mentors, peers, or the community at large. As parents, we lay the foundation, but it's important for kids to experience the world beyond the home, too. The messy parts—like manure 😉—are part of the growth, and sometimes those outside influences teach our kids things we can’t. It’s that mix of guidance from us and lessons from others that shapes them into well-rounded individuals.
I started mucking stalls in trade for my horse lessons at 13. My parents could certainly afford the lessons but understood the value in a young person working for what they want and the pride that comes with accomplishing big things. From the first pitchfork of poop that I dumped into the wheelbarrow, I appreciated their belief in my abilities and to work for what I wanted in life. I loved the work and the calluses and the opportunity to care for and bond with the animals I loved so very much. When we can approach work not as a chore, but as an opportunity to learn, grow and be of service, it changes everything. What an important lesson to teach our children.
What a fantastic reflection on the power of work! The way you tied your experience of mucking stalls to both personal growth and your love for the animals is a perfect example of how work can be transformative. It’s not just about the task at hand, but about the pride in earning something through effort, and the skills and confidence that come with it. Your story beautifully illustrates how that mindset shapes who we become. Thanks for sharing your experience!
One of the best decisions was to allow the boys to work at the cemetery when they were asked, which is far from the first job many people envision. Their primary tasks are taking care of the grounds, but there is so much more. On occasion, they have to deal with grieving, and sometimes upset, people, but know to treat everyone with kindness and respect. They learned that raising a headstone a few inches means the world to a widower, as well as locating a grave for someone looking for a loved one.
It's not without fun times, too, though. Their best friends also work there, and as John said, "Even when you have a rough day, when your friend is there, it makes it better." They laugh together when things go wrong, and there are often shenanigans of some sort!
That's a first on me, I have to say, but it sounds like there is not a lot that would scare them in the future. And what a brilliant story for them to tell later.
What a unique experience with so many valuable lessons! I can’t think of another work opportunity that would provide this level of depth and empathy. I imagine that having friends there not only makes it more enjoyable but also bonds them in a way others can’t fully understand. They’ll tell their tales years from now about their time at this job. This is a really cool example, Amy. I’m so glad you shared it.
My girls were given tasks, chores and work to do starting at the age of seven. Even my daughter with Down syndrome was given age/skills appropriate chores.
My youngest often had her set of chores and then she would ask her father to give her academic tasks in the summertime. The first year was just before her 8th birthday. He started with having her memorize the order of the presidents. When she had that down including their dates in office--he moved on to states/capitals, GDP, state flowers, birds etc. (He would give her the basic task, names of president--she expanded, states and locations, she expanded.) A few summers later she decided she wanted to learn Latin. I brushed of the old latin book and got her started. Another daughter helped with constructing a deck. Eventually, the oldest and youngest got paying jobs in the summer. The middle daughter took on more of the simple household chores. I concur--let them work.
Thanks for sharing your experience, Nancy! I love how your daughters embraced responsibility and learning from such a young age. Mixing tasks with academic challenges is such a valuable addition to the conversation. Building a love of learning is incredibly powerful. You've nailed it—when we give kids opportunities (and choices), they’ll show us what sparks their interest. Your family’s balance of chores, projects, and jobs is a great example of how giving kids agency helps them grow. Yes—let them work, and they’ll surprise us with what they’re capable of!
Our oldest also started clarinet lessons at eight and oboe lessons a year or two later (with the clarinet lessons). A few years later she started bagpipe lessons, too. The youngest started classical violin lessons at 5 and started learning fiddle tunes a few years later. We encouraged, but never forced them to carry on. But they both did. We gave them room to explore what they wanted to learn.
This is such a good take, especially with the pressure so many parents feel that they have to sign their kids up for all this stuff and pay all the $. Having a job is so crucial to a sense of purpose and mattering!
Thanks, Megan! And absolutely—it's hard to think of two more impactful value-adds than purpose and feeling like we matter.
"In traditional societies, this milestone was often marked by physical labor, apprenticeships, or service to the community, helping kids claim their place in the adult world."
That's just it, it is about continuity and tradition, but also about parents taking an important step together with their kids rather than outsourcing it to an instititution.
(Loving the stories in the comments here, just pure gold. And some quality manure, haha!)
Yes—we play such a critical role in actively guiding our kids through these important steps. And, while we're guiding and supporting, there's immense value in the lessons they learn from others, whether it’s mentors, peers, or the community at large. As parents, we lay the foundation, but it's important for kids to experience the world beyond the home, too. The messy parts—like manure 😉—are part of the growth, and sometimes those outside influences teach our kids things we can’t. It’s that mix of guidance from us and lessons from others that shapes them into well-rounded individuals.
Parents are the pillars of the child’s life and growth, yes.
I started mucking stalls in trade for my horse lessons at 13. My parents could certainly afford the lessons but understood the value in a young person working for what they want and the pride that comes with accomplishing big things. From the first pitchfork of poop that I dumped into the wheelbarrow, I appreciated their belief in my abilities and to work for what I wanted in life. I loved the work and the calluses and the opportunity to care for and bond with the animals I loved so very much. When we can approach work not as a chore, but as an opportunity to learn, grow and be of service, it changes everything. What an important lesson to teach our children.
Wow, that was pretty real!
What a fantastic reflection on the power of work! The way you tied your experience of mucking stalls to both personal growth and your love for the animals is a perfect example of how work can be transformative. It’s not just about the task at hand, but about the pride in earning something through effort, and the skills and confidence that come with it. Your story beautifully illustrates how that mindset shapes who we become. Thanks for sharing your experience!
Erin- This is such good advice that many parents need to hear. It's truly thoughtful. Thank you.
Thanks, Jesse. I appreciate the kind words.
One of the best decisions was to allow the boys to work at the cemetery when they were asked, which is far from the first job many people envision. Their primary tasks are taking care of the grounds, but there is so much more. On occasion, they have to deal with grieving, and sometimes upset, people, but know to treat everyone with kindness and respect. They learned that raising a headstone a few inches means the world to a widower, as well as locating a grave for someone looking for a loved one.
It's not without fun times, too, though. Their best friends also work there, and as John said, "Even when you have a rough day, when your friend is there, it makes it better." They laugh together when things go wrong, and there are often shenanigans of some sort!
That's a first on me, I have to say, but it sounds like there is not a lot that would scare them in the future. And what a brilliant story for them to tell later.
What a unique experience with so many valuable lessons! I can’t think of another work opportunity that would provide this level of depth and empathy. I imagine that having friends there not only makes it more enjoyable but also bonds them in a way others can’t fully understand. They’ll tell their tales years from now about their time at this job. This is a really cool example, Amy. I’m so glad you shared it.
My girls were given tasks, chores and work to do starting at the age of seven. Even my daughter with Down syndrome was given age/skills appropriate chores.
My youngest often had her set of chores and then she would ask her father to give her academic tasks in the summertime. The first year was just before her 8th birthday. He started with having her memorize the order of the presidents. When she had that down including their dates in office--he moved on to states/capitals, GDP, state flowers, birds etc. (He would give her the basic task, names of president--she expanded, states and locations, she expanded.) A few summers later she decided she wanted to learn Latin. I brushed of the old latin book and got her started. Another daughter helped with constructing a deck. Eventually, the oldest and youngest got paying jobs in the summer. The middle daughter took on more of the simple household chores. I concur--let them work.
Thanks for sharing your experience, Nancy! I love how your daughters embraced responsibility and learning from such a young age. Mixing tasks with academic challenges is such a valuable addition to the conversation. Building a love of learning is incredibly powerful. You've nailed it—when we give kids opportunities (and choices), they’ll show us what sparks their interest. Your family’s balance of chores, projects, and jobs is a great example of how giving kids agency helps them grow. Yes—let them work, and they’ll surprise us with what they’re capable of!
Our oldest also started clarinet lessons at eight and oboe lessons a year or two later (with the clarinet lessons). A few years later she started bagpipe lessons, too. The youngest started classical violin lessons at 5 and started learning fiddle tunes a few years later. We encouraged, but never forced them to carry on. But they both did. We gave them room to explore what they wanted to learn.
You had your own band! 😉
Love this. Reposting
Thanks, friend! I'm grateful.
Great food for thought!
Thanks, Jenna!