Not necessarily a rule but I encourage the kids to not worry about wearing shoes when outside, doing walks around neighborhood, or even playing at the playground. I also always allow them to wear less than is perceptually “needed” by most while packing extra clothes if they do get cold. Trying to passively teach them some resilience concepts. My daughter may or may not have told her friends being cold is a mental state when they were complained about the weather outside one day (proud dad moment haha)
I love this—quietly rebellious and totally intentional. Letting kids feel their limits instead of managing every ounce of their comfort? That’s parenting with the long game in mind. And your daughter telling her friends that being cold is a mental state? I’d frame that quote. I imagine you’re the kind of parent who uses phrases like my new favorite—“do dangerous things safely.”
Man, beautiful insights. Thank you for giving me some updated language on some of my intentions. Quietly rebellious. Letting kids feel their own limits rather than defining for them. Pursue danger safely.
Oh, this is an interesting one! It’s always fascinating to me how some people bristle at cussing, but think nothing of using words that devalue character or shame someone. Intent and impact matter so much more than the word itself.
Oh, you *knew* before the rest of us. Glitter and Play-Doh are like the gateway chaos—sparkly, crumbly regrets disguised as creativity. I still find rogue specks of glitter from a birthday card in 2017. You were wise to draw the line early! 😉
I had an unfair advantage working in pediatrics, I learned early on from the life care specialist. 😁 Never bring those elements onto a pediatric ward for children to play with in the unit playroom with her, the nurses would revolt. 😉😂
Emptying the lint trap. That’s the rule. A couple of years ago, I splurged on a stunning navy blue washer and dryer set, and yes—I adore them. I’ve fully fantasized about designing a whole laundry room around their vibe. I treat them with the reverence of a vintage car collector, and I expect the same from everyone else. My girls get one warning. After that, it’s laundry mat exile. Respect the lint trap or lose access to the goods.
I totally get this—and I’ve been diving into Jonathan Haidt’s (@jonathanhaidt) recent research, which really validates that instinct. His work shows a clear link between early exposure to phones and social media and rising anxiety and depression in kids, especially girls. It’s wild how quickly the mental health data shifts once tech enters the picture. I’m more convinced than ever that delaying personal devices isn’t just “old school”—it’s protective. Thanks for chiming in with this boundary. You’re not alone in holding the line.
I was a die hard “no tech” mama until I wasn’t. My boys are 16 and 14 and we still don’t really do social media. I know what they are into on their devices while still trying to give them a sense that they have privacy there. I encourage them to share with me what they are doing/ watching / listening to- and they do so willingly. At this age, it’s not so much to “forbid” anything as it is to engage in conversations about things I think lend themselves to that. But I also pay just as much attention to how they are when they are not on the devices. Are they polite? Are they holding conversations and making eye contact? Are they pleasant or surly when I ask them to get off the devices? Do they “turn them in” at night without complaint or drama? Etc.
We're working on that. Dad's old phone turned into the house phone, and we do let our oldest have screen time. I do my best to be aware of what she's watching, listening to, playing, ect., and to positively interact with her about her phone activity and her attitude when it's time to turn off the phone.
This is such a grounded and wise approach. I love how you’ve shifted from “forbidding” to engaging, and how much weight you place on their real-world behavior. That feels like the heart of it—not just what they’re doing on devices, but who they’re becoming. And your focus on their willingness to share, their attitude, and how they respond when asked to unplug—that’s such a valuable and useful barometer. It sounds like you’ve built a foundation of trust and accountability, which is no small thing in this digital age.
Not necessarily a rule but I encourage the kids to not worry about wearing shoes when outside, doing walks around neighborhood, or even playing at the playground. I also always allow them to wear less than is perceptually “needed” by most while packing extra clothes if they do get cold. Trying to passively teach them some resilience concepts. My daughter may or may not have told her friends being cold is a mental state when they were complained about the weather outside one day (proud dad moment haha)
I love this—quietly rebellious and totally intentional. Letting kids feel their limits instead of managing every ounce of their comfort? That’s parenting with the long game in mind. And your daughter telling her friends that being cold is a mental state? I’d frame that quote. I imagine you’re the kind of parent who uses phrases like my new favorite—“do dangerous things safely.”
Man, beautiful insights. Thank you for giving me some updated language on some of my intentions. Quietly rebellious. Letting kids feel their own limits rather than defining for them. Pursue danger safely.
You’re awesome 👊🏻
Right back at you—grateful to be in this quietly rebellious corner of the parenting world together.
You can cuss drop f bombs when upset, etc. But no bad words allowed: stupid, dumb, liar, etc
Oh, this is an interesting one! It’s always fascinating to me how some people bristle at cussing, but think nothing of using words that devalue character or shame someone. Intent and impact matter so much more than the word itself.
Glitter was banned from our house when the girls were little. Oh, that and Play-Doh.
Oh, you *knew* before the rest of us. Glitter and Play-Doh are like the gateway chaos—sparkly, crumbly regrets disguised as creativity. I still find rogue specks of glitter from a birthday card in 2017. You were wise to draw the line early! 😉
I had an unfair advantage working in pediatrics, I learned early on from the life care specialist. 😁 Never bring those elements onto a pediatric ward for children to play with in the unit playroom with her, the nurses would revolt. 😉😂
😂😊
Slime is not allowed, ever. I can’t take it.
Ha, fair! Can we add glitter to the list, too?
Emptying the lint trap. That’s the rule. A couple of years ago, I splurged on a stunning navy blue washer and dryer set, and yes—I adore them. I’ve fully fantasized about designing a whole laundry room around their vibe. I treat them with the reverence of a vintage car collector, and I expect the same from everyone else. My girls get one warning. After that, it’s laundry mat exile. Respect the lint trap or lose access to the goods.
My kids will not own a phone, laptop or tablet until they're at least 14 years old.
I totally get this—and I’ve been diving into Jonathan Haidt’s (@jonathanhaidt) recent research, which really validates that instinct. His work shows a clear link between early exposure to phones and social media and rising anxiety and depression in kids, especially girls. It’s wild how quickly the mental health data shifts once tech enters the picture. I’m more convinced than ever that delaying personal devices isn’t just “old school”—it’s protective. Thanks for chiming in with this boundary. You’re not alone in holding the line.
I was a die hard “no tech” mama until I wasn’t. My boys are 16 and 14 and we still don’t really do social media. I know what they are into on their devices while still trying to give them a sense that they have privacy there. I encourage them to share with me what they are doing/ watching / listening to- and they do so willingly. At this age, it’s not so much to “forbid” anything as it is to engage in conversations about things I think lend themselves to that. But I also pay just as much attention to how they are when they are not on the devices. Are they polite? Are they holding conversations and making eye contact? Are they pleasant or surly when I ask them to get off the devices? Do they “turn them in” at night without complaint or drama? Etc.
We're working on that. Dad's old phone turned into the house phone, and we do let our oldest have screen time. I do my best to be aware of what she's watching, listening to, playing, ect., and to positively interact with her about her phone activity and her attitude when it's time to turn off the phone.
This is such a grounded and wise approach. I love how you’ve shifted from “forbidding” to engaging, and how much weight you place on their real-world behavior. That feels like the heart of it—not just what they’re doing on devices, but who they’re becoming. And your focus on their willingness to share, their attitude, and how they respond when asked to unplug—that’s such a valuable and useful barometer. It sounds like you’ve built a foundation of trust and accountability, which is no small thing in this digital age.