I found this to be true: “When I finally began making choices based on my values—leaving teaching, choosing relationships that aligned with who I am at more core, and prioritizing my well-being—everything changed.”
Thank you for the reminder to make choices based on my values and choosing relationships that align with my authentic self.
I'm so glad this resonated, Priscilla. Next week's post is directly related to values alignment and I'd love your feedback. I truly believe life is sweeter and simpler when we tune in to what speaks to our soul.
Understanding the impact of these is a huge driver of personal growth for me. Those tensions are a more influential teacher to our kids than our words and deeds.
Being a parent provides the biggest kick up the arse for becoming our best selves.
It took me until my son was 18 to understand that it wasn’t him who needed to be fixed—it was me. This is so valuable for parents to understand (sooner rather than later). I wish I could communicate this as eloquently as you do!🙌❤️❤️
It's incredible to me the role that trauma can play in how we operate in our lives. For instance, I am a recovering perfectionist. I excelled at everything in my young years, because it was the only way I could garner approval and validation from my family. I always felt I had something to prove.
Later, when our first child was born, I felt incompetent and blamed myself when she was diagnosed at 14 months with Sensory Processing Disorder. What did I do? How did this happen? Did I cause her gross motor delay? I was awash in shame, but quickly shifted to swallowing my pride and finding the best physical and occupational therapy for her, to give her a chance to thrive.
That was my first lesson in humble parenting--to accept my limitations and not prevent access to good specialists if my kids needed it. It wasn't a reflection on me if they needed extra help, but it would come back to bite me in the ass if I didn't. Meaning: they would go without that assistance and likely suffer for it, and at what cost? My pride? Not worth it.
Since then, I have had to eat humble pie so many times I can't count. But realignment, for me, means starting over again and again, and when I mess up, repairing and reconnecting. Every relationship has its entanglements between love and loss. It's part of being human, and being a parent is no less a struggle.
So grateful for you, Jeannie, and the vulnerability and honesty you bring to your story. Many of my greatest gifts and most valuable lessons have come from my darkest hours as well. Those seasons where everything was stripped away left me with no choice but to learn how to show up exactly as I am. Letting go of the need to appear perfect wasn’t just freeing—it was a godsend. Thank you for sharing so openly and reminding us of the beauty in authenticity. ❤️
I found this to be true: “When I finally began making choices based on my values—leaving teaching, choosing relationships that aligned with who I am at more core, and prioritizing my well-being—everything changed.”
Thank you for the reminder to make choices based on my values and choosing relationships that align with my authentic self.
I'm so glad this resonated, Priscilla. Next week's post is directly related to values alignment and I'd love your feedback. I truly believe life is sweeter and simpler when we tune in to what speaks to our soul.
Erin, I one hundred percent agree! I will definitely read your next post.
"...the unspoken tensions of our lives"
Understanding the impact of these is a huge driver of personal growth for me. Those tensions are a more influential teacher to our kids than our words and deeds.
Being a parent provides the biggest kick up the arse for becoming our best selves.
Thanks for the timely reminder Erin.
Couldn’t agree more, Tony. I always value your insight and the depth you bring to the conversation.
Credit to you for provoking the squishy organ between my ears!
It took me until my son was 18 to understand that it wasn’t him who needed to be fixed—it was me. This is so valuable for parents to understand (sooner rather than later). I wish I could communicate this as eloquently as you do!🙌❤️❤️
Thank you so much, Ann. ♥️
Thousand percent agreed!!!
Thank you! We need to get Rebel Rebel listed in PARENTstack—https://unpopularparent.substack.com/p/parent-stack!!
Thank you for the shoutout!
Deeply felt and well said
Thank you, Carll. I appreciate you.
This was wonderful. Thank you for sharing your story.
Thanks, Laura!
Erin,
It's incredible to me the role that trauma can play in how we operate in our lives. For instance, I am a recovering perfectionist. I excelled at everything in my young years, because it was the only way I could garner approval and validation from my family. I always felt I had something to prove.
Later, when our first child was born, I felt incompetent and blamed myself when she was diagnosed at 14 months with Sensory Processing Disorder. What did I do? How did this happen? Did I cause her gross motor delay? I was awash in shame, but quickly shifted to swallowing my pride and finding the best physical and occupational therapy for her, to give her a chance to thrive.
That was my first lesson in humble parenting--to accept my limitations and not prevent access to good specialists if my kids needed it. It wasn't a reflection on me if they needed extra help, but it would come back to bite me in the ass if I didn't. Meaning: they would go without that assistance and likely suffer for it, and at what cost? My pride? Not worth it.
Since then, I have had to eat humble pie so many times I can't count. But realignment, for me, means starting over again and again, and when I mess up, repairing and reconnecting. Every relationship has its entanglements between love and loss. It's part of being human, and being a parent is no less a struggle.
So grateful for you, Jeannie, and the vulnerability and honesty you bring to your story. Many of my greatest gifts and most valuable lessons have come from my darkest hours as well. Those seasons where everything was stripped away left me with no choice but to learn how to show up exactly as I am. Letting go of the need to appear perfect wasn’t just freeing—it was a godsend. Thank you for sharing so openly and reminding us of the beauty in authenticity. ❤️
"Show up exactly as I am." That phrase you wrote pierced my heart. It's the same path I'm traveling, too. ❤️