Why Are We Trusting a Broken System to Handle Gender Identity?
Part 1: A Conversation About Gender Identity in K-12 Education
This post is part of a three-part series examining the role of K-12 education in addressing gender identity issues.
Part 2: Teachers Are Unprepared for Gender Identity—and It’s Dangerous
Part 3: It’s Time to Boldly Insist Schools Prioritize Academic Focus
A Note
Before we dive in, I want to be absolutely clear about something. I have deep admiration for teachers. Many of my closest friends are educators, and I was a teacher myself. The HoS at my daughters' high school is one of my favorite people on the planet, and I am profoundly grateful for all of the teachers and coaches who encouraged, challenged, and helped shape my daughters into the strong young women they are today. These remarkable individuals are doing heroic work in incredibly challenging circumstances.
Also, this is not a critique of or a deep dive into gender identity as a whole. My focus here is solely on its place within K-12 education.
With that said, as parents, we have an obligation to ask tough questions. And I believe this is one worth exploring:
Why are we entrusting a broken education system to navigate something as personal and complex as gender identity?
Our Students Are Suffering
Let’s face it: the US education system is failing our children. It’s struggling with its most basic responsibilities—teaching reading, writing, math, and critical thinking. These skills form the foundation of a child’s future, yet we are seeing widespread failures across the board.
Consider the statistics:
Nearly one-third of elementary students in the U.S. are reading below grade level, reflecting a severe literacy problem across the country.1
The latest math scores for 13-year-olds have seen a 9-point decline, the most significant drop ever recorded by the National Assessment of Educational Progress.2
Only 27% of middle and high school students are proficient in writing, a foundational skill necessary for success in college, the workplace, and civic life.3
Even more concerning, just 21% of high school graduates in 2023 were deemed ready for college-level work, which includes the ability to write effectively.4
These figures are shocking. They paint a clear picture of a system that is not just stretched thin but one that is crumbling under the weight of its failures. And if schools are failing to teach our children basic academic skills, how can we expect them to take on the added responsibility of addressing complex issues like gender identity?
Our Teachers Are Drowning
We know that teachers are burning out. They are being asked to do too much with too little support, often working in overcrowded classrooms with limited resources. According to reports, more than 75% of teachers have reported experiencing stress-related health issues such as headaches, stomach problems, and even heart palpitations.5 80% of educators say that worsening student behavior has contributed significantly to their burnout, with discipline issues rising sharply since the pandemic.6
Since 2020, there has been a mass exodus from the profession. Schools have lost over 500,000 educators, and 55% of teachers are now considering leaving earlier than originally planned.7 This shortage has further stretched those who remain in the classroom, forcing them to take on more students and responsibilities. These teachers are drowning.
And now, we want to ask them to take on the emotional, psychological, and social complexities of gender identity? Teachers are not trained mental health professionals or counselors. They may be well-meaning, but they simply don’t have the resources, time, or expertise to guide students through these deeply personal matters. Why should we expect them to?
Why This Matters to Parents
This issue isn’t just about what happens inside the classroom—it’s about our children’s future. As parents, we send our kids to school with the expectation that they will emerge ready for the challenges ahead, whether that’s college, a career, or simply navigating adult life. When schools fail in their primary mission, it is parents who feel the impact most directly.
Here’s why this should deeply matter to parents:
Academic Readiness is Compromised: When students fall behind in reading, math, and writing, they struggle to compete at higher levels of education. Parents may have to step in to provide tutoring and remedial lessons, or even consider alternative schooling options. The burden of an underprepared child falls squarely on the shoulders of the parent.
Job Prospects are Threatened: Without foundational skills, our students will find it harder to secure meaningful employment after graduation. Employers expect a certain level of competency in literacy, critical thinking, and communication—areas where our schools are falling short. As parents, we want to know that our children will have the skills to thrive and support themselves after leaving the school system.
Trust in the Education System is Shaken: We rely on the education system to provide a structured, reliable environment where our children can grow academically and emotionally. When schools struggle to meet primary academic goals, parents lose confidence in the system’s ability to serve their children well. Introducing complex discussions about gender identity into a system that’s already faltering could further erode trust between parents and schools.
Erosion of Parental Role in Guiding Children: Gender identity, by nature, is an intimate and personal subject that families often approach in deeply meaningful ways based on their values and beliefs. While I acknowledge there are exceptions, most parents want to be the primary guides in these sensitive discussions. But when schools take on this responsibility, it sidelines our parental role, leaving us with less influence over our child’s development.
The long-term consequences of a failing education system are real, and parents need to be aware of the role they will have to play when schools fall short. When educators take on sensitive and nuanced issues like gender identity without addressing fundamental academic needs, it’s parents who will ultimately have to bridge the gaps in their children’s preparedness for the future.