I really love that you write about this. Parenting is an incredibly difficult job when you are paying attention and especially challenging when you are trying to recognize and shift your unhelpful patterns at the same time. I remember when I first began to practice noticing my emotional reactions to external events and using breath to cut through the auto pilot. I did this daily for a month. One day my son was showing me a highly inappropriate text from another parent who was crossing the line with him and I began to take intentional deep breaths to reign in my response. He looked at me with curiosity and asked why I was deep breathing and I told him I was finding myself angry and judgmental and wanted to work through it before I responded. I think he was entertained by my reaction more than inspired because he couldn’t wait to show me the follow up texts. haha
The reality is that practicing the pause is hard and takes a lot of practice and patience. And like you said- it’s an imperfect process. Yet, becoming the safe place for ourselves and our kids is what we both deserve.
“Parenting with intention doesn’t just create calm. It lays the foundation for connection, healing, and the future we hope for our kids, one steady moment at a time.”
Erin, this is such an important essay for parents. We don’t realize that we’re imprinting our kids for their lives, not just trying to make it to the other side of the next moment. I’m reminded of this quote from Lao Tzu:
“Do you have the patience to wait until your mud settles and the water is clear? Can you remain unmoving until the right action arises by itself?".
It reminds me of the difference between reacting and responding.
I always appreciate your insight, James. You’re absolutely right—the difference between reacting and responding is so meaningful. I’d add that taking it even further into listening and learning brings an entirely new depth. The imagery in the quote is both powerful and beautifully evocative. Thanks for sharing it!
You are so wise. Thank you for sharing.♥️
Thank you, sweet Gail. ❤️
Really appreciated the classification of disciplines. I honestly have not looked at it through that lens.
Thanks so much, Megan!
Well done from a recovering over-functioner!
Thank you! 😊
I really love that you write about this. Parenting is an incredibly difficult job when you are paying attention and especially challenging when you are trying to recognize and shift your unhelpful patterns at the same time. I remember when I first began to practice noticing my emotional reactions to external events and using breath to cut through the auto pilot. I did this daily for a month. One day my son was showing me a highly inappropriate text from another parent who was crossing the line with him and I began to take intentional deep breaths to reign in my response. He looked at me with curiosity and asked why I was deep breathing and I told him I was finding myself angry and judgmental and wanted to work through it before I responded. I think he was entertained by my reaction more than inspired because he couldn’t wait to show me the follow up texts. haha
The reality is that practicing the pause is hard and takes a lot of practice and patience. And like you said- it’s an imperfect process. Yet, becoming the safe place for ourselves and our kids is what we both deserve.
So true, Lynn—being mindful of our energy is such a long-term commitment and takes constant practice. I love this story—thanks for sharing it!
Beautifully articulated. Your descriptions delicious.
I really appreciate this—thank you so much, Katrina!
This bleeds with emotion. I’ll be rereading this again. You are so good at capturing your internal chatter.
Wow, thank you. The internal chatter is where I spend so much of my time, so it’s humbling to know it resonates—especially with you.
I love when you just blurt this out. Because you tap into what the rest of us grapple with
“Parenting with intention doesn’t just create calm. It lays the foundation for connection, healing, and the future we hope for our kids, one steady moment at a time.”
Erin, this is such an important essay for parents. We don’t realize that we’re imprinting our kids for their lives, not just trying to make it to the other side of the next moment. I’m reminded of this quote from Lao Tzu:
“Do you have the patience to wait until your mud settles and the water is clear? Can you remain unmoving until the right action arises by itself?".
It reminds me of the difference between reacting and responding.
Bravo to you and to this essential essay.
I always appreciate your insight, James. You’re absolutely right—the difference between reacting and responding is so meaningful. I’d add that taking it even further into listening and learning brings an entirely new depth. The imagery in the quote is both powerful and beautifully evocative. Thanks for sharing it!