Always Certain, Seldom Correct

Raising Truth-Seekers in a World Full Black-and-White Thinking

We live in a world that has, quite frankly, lost its mind. Dishonesty is rampant, misinformation flows unchecked, and the truth seems increasingly hard to pin down. And within this chaos, we are failing our kids—and we’re doing so in a fundamental and potentially catastrophic way. 

Not only do we avoid the truth, but we've come to normalize dishonesty, choosing it as the path of least resistance or manipulating information to get what we want. Yet even more disturbing is our glorification of certainty, where we prize conviction over curiosity. We’re teaching our kids to mistakenly equate truth with the velocity and force of its delivery. But, truth is not about certainty—it’s about grappling with the unknown.

The Inconvenience of Truth

Truth can be uncomfortable—even painful—and sidestepping it offers an easier, more convenient way out of many difficult situations. But this is a short-term solution with long-term repercussions.

In a culture that values efficiency, speed, and immediate gratification, curiosity and the pursuit of truth can feel inefficient and even unnecessary. Seeking truth requires time, nuance, and often difficult conversations that challenge everyone involved to think critically, question assumptions, and confront uncomfortable realities. Let’s face it—many of us are slightly lazy with terrible attention spans, preferring quick answers over the deeper, often more complex process of truth-seeking. Yet, it's precisely through these challenges that more profound understanding and meaningful growth occur—something we must be willing to embrace if we want to teach our kids the importance of moving beyond surface-level thinking.

Wrestling With Complexity Builds Stronger Thinkers

As a society that values quick answers and confidence, we’ve forgotten that truth is not a fixed point; it's an ongoing exploration. Our kids witness us overstating what we know or doubling down on fixed beliefs to avoid our anxiety around uncertainty and out of fear of how others will perceive us. We mistakenly believe that admitting what we don’t know in front of our kids (and others) risks our image and influence.

What we fail to recognize is that when we neglect to model and instill the value of pursuing truth, we limit our kids’ ability to think critically:

• We close them off to growth: Certainty makes them resistant to new ideas or perspectives, leading them to stop questioning and preventing further learning.

• We foster rigidity: Valuing certainty over inquiry makes them inflexible in their thinking, leaving them less adaptable when faced with change or complexity.

• We fuel polarization: Teaching kids to cling to certainties to affirm their identities or beliefs generally deepens divisions rather than encouraging dialogue and understanding.

Our kids need to see us struggle with tough questions—even tricky parenting dilemmas. This not only demonstrates how to approach ambiguity and uncertainty but also gives them permission to do the same.

The goal of truth is to help us navigate uncertainty, not eliminate it. Engaging with complex questions and acknowledging the unknown leads to deeper understanding and intellectual maturity. Thinking critically, staying curious, and being adaptable—essential qualities of strong thinkers—naturally emerge from this process.

Truth is a Skill, Not Just a Value—And It Requires Humility

While truth is often treated as a static moral virtue, its pursuit is a learned skill requiring continuous practice. Our role is to teach our kids to value truth and help them build the skills to navigate and engage with it. When we show them how to wrestle with tough questions and embrace the unknown, we equip them with the tools to think deeply and grow intellectually.

So, how do we teach our kids to approach truth as a skill they can practice?

• We provide experiences that require COURAGE. We encourage them to step outside their comfort zones, ask difficult questions, and face challenges head-on. 

• We create space for dialogue that strengthens DISCERNMENT. We open the lines of communication, encouraging discussions of gray areas without fear or penalty.

• We model HUMILITY. We demonstrate the value of recognizing the limits of our knowledge while being confident in seeking and growing, even when certainty isn’t possible.

Truth about our world and her people comes not from boldly asserting what we know or believe but from confidently standing in awareness of our limitations while remaining committed to pursuing deeper understanding.

The future of our society and the well-being of our children depend on reversing the current obsession with certainty. Truth is more than a matter of personal integrity or moral clarity—it’s the foundation on which trust, growth, and even public progress are built, and the fabric of our society depends on our collective commitment to it.